People commonly use the term “slam dunk” to mean something that is really easy and can’t go wrong. As someone who is 5’6″, I think this term doesn’t make any sense. I could train every day for the rest of my life and slam dunking would be literally impossible. Hell, I even saw one ofContinue reading “A Short Joke”
Author Archives: Eric Sporer
Top 10 Alarming Facts About Channel 4 Weatherman Matt Brickman
10- Knows what the actual weather is going to be every single day, but refuses to tell the viewers 9- Has the ability to spray foul odors, not unlike a skunk 8- Won his job after selling his soul to the devil to win a pie eating contest against Al Roker (pre-gastric bypass) 7- CoveredContinue reading “Top 10 Alarming Facts About Channel 4 Weatherman Matt Brickman”
Rats, Bugs, Hell City
I moved out of NYC a few years ago and found out that people in other parts of the country use “Aw rats” to express minor disappointment. This was pretty shocking for me, for a few reasons. Firstly, when have rats ever been a minor disappointment? There aren’t that many situations that I could evenContinue reading “Rats, Bugs, Hell City”
Top 10 Reasons You Can’t Teach an Old Dog New Tricks
10- Puppy generation gap 9- Old dog unions have strong trick labor agreements 8- Puppy schools evaluated on standardized test scores, not new tricks 7- Most new tricks involve computers, which old dogs can’t learn to use, not because they are too old but because they are dogs 6- The “Lassie Effect” 5- Tricks?! We’reContinue reading “Top 10 Reasons You Can’t Teach an Old Dog New Tricks”
“A Total Veggiehead Reacts to Skirt Steak: First Bite” and other reaction videos from my new YouTube channel
So, I’ve been light on work since the pandemic started and am looking for new revenue streams. I’ve heard all about these people who are blowing up on YouTube over their music reaction videos, where they tape themselves listening to a song for the first time. These people are getting hundreds of thousands of hitsContinue reading ““A Total Veggiehead Reacts to Skirt Steak: First Bite” and other reaction videos from my new YouTube channel”
Top 10 Useless School Supplies
10- Metric ruler 9- Inside-out lunchbox 8- Brown out 7- Decalculator 6- Daily planner with shirk written on every page 5- Reinforcements (not the little adhesive rings but a gang of tough guys) 4- Backpack full of rocks 3- US history textbook, with all references to the Americans changed to Godzilla and all references toContinue reading “Top 10 Useless School Supplies”
CDC Guidance for Returning to the Office
As you may know, we at the CDC recently issued new guidelines that vaccinated individuals can resume normal activities. This has guidance has led to a lot of businesses, including offices, resuming normal in-person operations. Many Americans have not been to an office in over a year, and this can be a major adjustment. TheContinue reading “CDC Guidance for Returning to the Office”
The Nuclear Apocalypse: Pros and Cons
Now children, the recent nuclear apocalypse has been life changing. Sure there’s been some downsides to it, but it hasn’t been all terrible. To put it all into perspective I’ve put together a pros and cons list. Pro: Being trapped in the fallout shelter has brought this family closer together Con: We can never leaveContinue reading “The Nuclear Apocalypse: Pros and Cons”
Top 10 Alarming Facts About William Howard Taft
10- Twice tried to declare war on “the skinnies” 9- The original red button in the oval office was actually Taft’s “hamburger on demand” button 8- Dream job was actually “turkey chasing” 7- Was built from parts of Benjamin Harrison, William McKinley and a manatee 6- Stored emergency reserves of taffy in his cheeks 5-Continue reading “Top 10 Alarming Facts About William Howard Taft”
Dr. Anthony Fauci SUPER STUMPERS Part 2
The day has changed and so have the rules. The wildly successful Dr. Anthony Fauci Super Stumpers is back to provide new guidance on your toughest Covid related questions. Dr. Fauci is here now to field your stumpiest stumpers! Q: I’ve been hearing all about blood clods caused by the Johnson & Johnson vaccine. IsContinue reading “Dr. Anthony Fauci SUPER STUMPERS Part 2”
A Man Eating Chicken 