A Man Eating Chicken
Hi Mom! Or whoever else I actually convinced to look at this website. I was writing these things that I thought were funny. I’d show them to my wife, who would agree, and submit them to various writing outlets, who would instantly reject all of them. Now I can appeal to you, the court of public opinion, who would never, ever, ever judge me unfairly. Enjoy!(?)
Here are the things you can read
Worst of Craigslist Missed Connections
You would have gotten me to work on time m4t I slept in and got to Grand Central at 9:37. You left at 9:30. You were a little old, honestly a little dirty, but I needed you in my life. If you are reading this, reply with your final stop so I know it’s you.…
Top 10 Things to Do if You Find a Rat in Your Toilet
10- Befriend the toilet rat, only to ultimately betray it 9- Put a cat in the toilet 8- Burn the house down 7- It’s the rat’s house now. Move into the sewer that the rat vacated 6- If there’s a rat in the toilet, then what’s in the rat trap? Sorry, another rat! 5- Ask…
Workshopping “You gotta break some eggs if you wanna make an omelet”
You gotta drink some kegs if you wanna break some eggs You gotta break some legs if you wanna be in the mob When life gives you eggs, make egg juice If there is any eggshell in my omelet I am going to be extremely disappointed An egg is an omelet waiting to happen What…
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A Man Eating Chicken 