Something Fun You Can Do On the Internet

The following is a true story In 2008 I was hired as a United States Patent Examiner. Patent examining is, believe it or not, a pretty boring job. To do the job, you are supposed to examine about one application a day. Ideally, you spend an hour reading and understanding the application, six hours lookingContinue reading “Something Fun You Can Do On the Internet”

Covid Subway Etiquitte

With Covid seeming like a permanent problem, the MTA has updated it’s guide for subway etiquette for Covid times. You may be surprised that there was existing subway etiquette to update. Well, there is subway etiquette. It’s a subtle but complicated dance, like the kind that two rats do while fighting over food scraps. HereContinue reading “Covid Subway Etiquitte”

Top 10 Worst Ways to Boost Office Morale

10- Let everyone work from home by forcing them to live at the office 9- Better yet, have them work from their actual homes, but only after they’ve worked in the office for 9 hours a day 8-  Play two truths and one lie, but without telling the other employees 7- Do icebreakers, where employeesContinue reading “Top 10 Worst Ways to Boost Office Morale”

Top 10 Alarming Facts About the Phoenix Suns Gorilla

10- Was acquired from the San Diego Zoo in a trade for Dan Majerle 9- Once dunked a ball so hard that it created a tear in the space-time continuum, sending him from his Ape Planet to Earth 8- Was once suspended for monkey business; his business was selling weed to kids 7- Is a KingContinue reading “Top 10 Alarming Facts About the Phoenix Suns Gorilla”

Kim Raisner’s Pros and Cons List for Punching the Horse at the Olympics

Pro: It will definitely teach the horse a lesson Con: Animal abuse is generally frowned upon Pro: All press is good press Con: The horse didn’t ask for any of this, including being ridden at all Pro: It’ll really get some of my aggression out Con: The horse is bigger than me and may alreadyContinue reading “Kim Raisner’s Pros and Cons List for Punching the Horse at the Olympics”

Top 10 Worst Things About Being a Bee

10- Have to risk being swatted to get to humans’ delicious sugary drinks 9- Slowly going extinct for no god damn reason 8- Having a pollen allergy can be fatal 7- When people try to take your honey so you sting them and then you die 6- That constant buzzing gets pretty annoying 5- People alwaysContinue reading “Top 10 Worst Things About Being a Bee”