Category Archives: Lists

10- Godzilla vs Slothra 9- Free Zillie (which is exactly what it sounds like) 8- Godzilla vs Godzilla (lizard-monster psychological thriller) 7- Godzilla Does Dallas 6- Codzilla King of the Monsters and Fish 5- City of Godzilla 4- Are you there Godzilla? It’s me Margaret: the Movie 3- Godzilla: Mall Cop 2- Godzilla vs. SmallContinue reading “Top Ten Godzilla Movie Flops”

Remembering to take your birth control pill every day can be hard, but it’s essential if you want to maintain consistent contraceptive protection. When pills are taken off-schedule, your risk of an unplanned pregnancy increases. That said, sometimes mistakes happen and a pill is forgotten or a pack is started late. The following instructions willContinue reading “A Tough Pill to Swallow”

10- Space cave, and no I won’t elaborate 9- In the past… ooh what a mindfuck! 8-  Still interviewing for this job if you’re going to keep talking to me for goddam ever 7- Still bitching about the Seahawks offense every Monday, amirite?! 6- Blowjob City! Don’t worry, it’s not what it sounds like. I’mContinue reading “Top 10 Worst Ways to Answer the Interview Question “Where do you see yourself in 10 years””

The following is a true story In 2008 I was hired as a United States Patent Examiner. Patent examining is, believe it or not, a pretty boring job. To do the job, you are supposed to examine about one application a day. Ideally, you spend an hour reading and understanding the application, six hours lookingContinue reading “Something Fun You Can Do On the Internet”

With Covid seeming like a permanent problem, the MTA has updated it’s guide for subway etiquette for Covid times. You may be surprised that there was existing subway etiquette to update. Well, there is subway etiquette. It’s a subtle but complicated dance, like the kind that two rats do while fighting over food scraps. HereContinue reading “Covid Subway Etiquitte”

Everyone knows that Teddy Roosevelt built the Panama Canal because of that famous palindrome. I’ve been working on my own palindromes to reflect my accomplishments. Here’s what I’ve got so far: A man, no plan, no canal, Anaconnalponnamacat at(t)ac(k)!No canal? Not a one? No, a ton. It’s a con! (pretty close!)A canal?! Are you fuckingContinue reading “Palindromemordnilap”

The hardest part about flying a plane is the loneliness. Sure, some other pilots may tell you it’s keeping the plane in the air, or remembering what all those buttons are for, but I don’t bother with any of that. That’s what the co-pilot (which is Latin for “real pilot”) is for. Those other pilotsContinue reading “Learning to Fly”

10- Let everyone work from home by forcing them to live at the office 9- Better yet, have them work from their actual homes, but only after they’ve worked in the office for 9 hours a day 8-  Play two truths and one lie, but without telling the other employees 7- Do icebreakers, where employeesContinue reading “Top 10 Worst Ways to Boost Office Morale”

10- Was acquired from the San Diego Zoo in a trade for Dan Majerle 9- Once dunked a ball so hard that it created a tear in the space-time continuum, sending him from his Ape Planet to Earth 8- Was once suspended for monkey business; his business was selling weed to kids 7- Is a KingContinue reading “Top 10 Alarming Facts About the Phoenix Suns Gorilla”

Pro: It will definitely teach the horse a lesson Con: Animal abuse is generally frowned upon Pro: All press is good press Con: The horse didn’t ask for any of this, including being ridden at all Pro: It’ll really get some of my aggression out Con: The horse is bigger than me and may alreadyContinue reading “Kim Raisner’s Pros and Cons List for Punching the Horse at the Olympics”