Category Archives: Lists

10- Befriend the toilet rat, only to ultimately betray it 9- Put a cat in the toilet 8- Burn the house down 7- It’s the rat’s house now. Move into the sewer that the rat vacated 6- If there’s a rat in the toilet, then what’s in the rat trap? Sorry, another rat! 5- AskContinue reading “Top 10 Things to Do if You Find a Rat in Your Toilet”

10- Wolfie and Knick-knack 9-Stinky and Abomination 8- Test Tube Jr. and Armando 7- Romulus and I’m With Romulus 6- Thelma and Louise 5- The Barky Boyz 4- Good Boy and The Sneak 3- CUG AAG GGG and CUG AAG GGG 2- Bitey and Also Bitey 1- Cardinal Richelieu and his right hand man François LeclercContinue reading “Top 10 Alternative Names for the Scientifically Resurrected Dire Wolf Twins”

10- Political conversation seeker 9- Thing you forgot that might be important 8- Your own children 7- Slimy salad greens 6- A bat with a gun 5- Hot dog made out of hamburger 4- The ghost of the former mayor of NYC: Rudolph Ghouliani 3- Gas price sign 2- Spooky pangolin 1- Unstoppable passage ofContinue reading “Top 10 Scary Adult Halloween Costumes”

10- Godzilla vs Slothra 9- Free Zillie (which is exactly what it sounds like) 8- Godzilla vs Godzilla (lizard-monster psychological thriller) 7- Godzilla Does Dallas 6- Codzilla King of the Monsters and Fish 5- City of Godzilla 4- Are you there Godzilla? It’s me Margaret: the Movie 3- Godzilla: Mall Cop 2- Godzilla vs. SmallContinue reading “Top Ten Godzilla Movie Flops”

Remembering to take your birth control pill every day can be hard, but it’s essential if you want to maintain consistent contraceptive protection. When pills are taken off-schedule, your risk of an unplanned pregnancy increases. That said, sometimes mistakes happen and a pill is forgotten or a pack is started late. The following instructions willContinue reading “A Tough Pill to Swallow”

10- Space cave, and no I won’t elaborate 9- In the past… ooh what a mindfuck! 8-  Still interviewing for this job if you’re going to keep talking to me for goddam ever 7- Still bitching about the Seahawks offense every Monday, amirite?! 6- Blowjob City! Don’t worry, it’s not what it sounds like. I’mContinue reading “Top 10 Worst Ways to Answer the Interview Question “Where do you see yourself in 10 years””

The following is a true story In 2008 I was hired as a United States Patent Examiner. Patent examining is, believe it or not, a pretty boring job. To do the job, you are supposed to examine about one application a day. Ideally, you spend an hour reading and understanding the application, six hours lookingContinue reading “Something Fun You Can Do On the Internet”

With Covid seeming like a permanent problem, the MTA has updated it’s guide for subway etiquette for Covid times. You may be surprised that there was existing subway etiquette to update. Well, there is subway etiquette. It’s a subtle but complicated dance, like the kind that two rats do while fighting over food scraps. HereContinue reading “Covid Subway Etiquitte”

Everyone knows that Teddy Roosevelt built the Panama Canal because of that famous palindrome. I’ve been working on my own palindromes to reflect my accomplishments. Here’s what I’ve got so far: A man, no plan, no canal, Anaconnalponnamacat at(t)ac(k)!No canal? Not a one? No, a ton. It’s a con! (pretty close!)A canal?! Are you fuckingContinue reading “Palindromemordnilap”

The hardest part about flying a plane is the loneliness. Sure, some other pilots may tell you it’s keeping the plane in the air, or remembering what all those buttons are for, but I don’t bother with any of that. That’s what the co-pilot (which is Latin for “real pilot”) is for. Those other pilotsContinue reading “Learning to Fly”