10- Puppy generation gap
9- Old dog unions have strong trick labor agreements
8- Puppy schools evaluated on standardized test scores, not new tricks
7- Most new tricks involve computers, which old dogs can’t learn to use, not because they are too old but because they are dogs
6- The “Lassie Effect”
5- Tricks?! We’re lucky if she doesn’t pee on the rug
4- They really stopped making new dog tricks a while ago
3- With the current doggy economy, old dogs all are forced to work at Walmart, leaving no time to learn to tricks
2- Puppy Alzheimer’s
1- The pet store says I’m no longer allowed in unless I plan on actually buying one
A Man Eating Chicken 