Top 10 Reasons You Can’t Teach an Old Dog New Tricks

10- Puppy generation gap

9- Old dog unions have strong trick labor agreements

8- Puppy schools evaluated on standardized test scores, not new tricks

7- Most new tricks involve computers, which old dogs can’t learn to use, not because they are too old but because they are dogs

6- The “Lassie Effect”

5- Tricks?! We’re lucky if she doesn’t pee on the rug

4- They really stopped making new dog tricks a while ago

3- With the current doggy economy, old dogs all are forced to work at Walmart, leaving no time to learn to tricks

2- Puppy Alzheimer’s

1- The pet store says I’m no longer allowed in unless I plan on actually buying one

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