Category Archives: Short Pieces

Hey guys, it’s me, the Snoopy balloon from the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. You know, the national treasure? The guy who’s been the symbol of national unity on one of our most special holidays for the past 56 years? I hope you remember me, after all, it’s been a couple of months since Thanksgiving. UsuallyContinue reading ““Oh, So Now You Guys Care About Balloons?” An Op-Ed by the Snoopy Balloon”

Friend 1: Hey, let’s play Taboo Friend 2: Ok Friend 1: Do you know how to play? Friend 2: Yeah, I know how Taboo works Friend 1: Ok, you can be the first guesser then, I’ll do the clues Friend 2: Ok, and go! Friend 1: It’s a type of party Friend 2: Fucking aContinue reading “Game Night”

Please enter your password TacomaDad1984 Please include a special character Tacoma’sBestDad1984 Please make your password more accurate MiddleO’theRoadDad1984 You are not the real father, please make it more accurate again SadSurprise2022 You forgot the punctaction, dummy SadSurprise2022:-( You realize that in a week you are going to need to remember that you made this lastContinue reading “The Computer is Acting Funny”

Retraction We would like to retract the statement on November 12th, 2022, that the Tacoma City Treasurer misappropriated public funds. Retraction We would like to retract the retraction printed directly above this. Upon further consideration, it wasn’t that big a deal. Who cares, right? Maybe they did do some funny business Retraction Just yesterday, our competingContinue reading “A Series of Retractions by the Tacoma Post”

Hello, I am Terry “Pizza Face” Jones, and I have been nominated to be the spokesman for the meek. You know: the docile, the submissive, the wedgied masses. For thousands of years we have been told that we will someday inherit the Earth. We were recently alerted that the day has finally come and weContinue reading “We Are the Meek and, No Thanks, We Don’t Want to Inherit the Earth”

Inevitably, after every mass shooting in America there’s the same public outcry: it’s time to ban guns. To those who say that, I respond: the gun didn’t shoot itself. There are many out there who agree with this sentiment, and many of them say that it’s an issue of training responsible gun owners and dealingContinue reading “Guns Don’t Kill People, the Boundary Conditions of the Universe Kill People”

If you’ve watched the news lately, you’ve noticed there’s been a lot of medical advice and talk about different Covid treatments. My dad always told me that the best medicine for anything was alcohol, not complaining and never, ever messing with the thermostat. He lost his medical license when I was still a small child,Continue reading “Medical Advice You Can Trust”

With all of these travel restrictions, more and more events are offering a remote Zoom option. There are so many different types of remote events these days with unique needs. Zoom just isn’t working for everything anymore. That is why we have developed Zop, the Zoom alternative for your next bris! If you’ve attended aContinue reading “Try Zop: The First Tele-bris Service!”

Hello Carly, I received the invite to your vow renewal with your husband, Todd. I know this is a big deal to you; you’ve been married for two long years and you want to show Todd that you still love him after all this time. I mean, why wouldn’t you? It’s only been two years. Anyway,Continue reading “Sorry, I Won’t Be Attending Your Zoom Vow Renewal Because of Some Kind of Disorder I Have”

In ancient societies, children’s games prepared their young for adult activities. Sports and games of tag prepared their youth to hunt and fight in wars. As society evolved, our games evolved to prepare our youth for their changing roles as adults. Here are how some modern children’s games prepare our young ones for the adultContinue reading “The Role of Children’s Games in Society”