10- Knows what the actual weather is going to be every single day, but refuses to tell the viewers
9- Has the ability to spray foul odors, not unlike a skunk
8- Won his job after selling his soul to the devil to win a pie eating contest against Al Roker (pre-gastric bypass)
7- Covered in a thin film of maple syrup
6- Has been calling it a “Dobbler” radar for years without anyone noticing
5- Is constructing an ark in his backyard for when the “real thunderstorms” come
4- Almost got fired after “Me Too”ing himself for inappropriate touching without his own consent
3- Thinks it isn’t fair that he has to predict the weather while other anchors don’t have to predict the news
2- Is actually a sentient stormcloud shaped like a human
1- Does not believe in science
A Man Eating Chicken 