Category Archives: Lists

10- Twice tried to declare war on “the skinnies” 9- The original red button in the oval office was actually Taft’s “hamburger on demand” button 8- Dream job was actually “turkey chasing” 7- Was built from parts of Benjamin Harrison, William McKinley and a manatee  6- Stored emergency reserves of taffy in his cheeks 5-Continue reading “Top 10 Alarming Facts About William Howard Taft”

10- Tony Gwynn pulls every muscle in his body trying to get a Cheeto from under his couch 9- The Philly Phanatic has sex with the devil, giving birth to Flyers mascot Gritty 8- First baseman Larry Met gets hit in the head with line drive, nuclear radiation, simultaneously 7- In a case of mistakenContinue reading “Top 10 Worst Accidents in Baseball History”

10- Life raft made of D-batteries 9- Can of beans of blankets 8- “I hate hurricanes” novelty t-shirt 7-Time machine to go back and prevent the hurricane from ever being born 6- Bathtub full of puppies to “re-pup-ulate” society 5- Hurricane repellant 4- Dog in a dress 3- “Hurricane-size” bottle of lube 2- 3 dayContinue reading “Top 10 Hurricane Survival Kit Items”

Everybody knows about the terrible twos because of the catchy name, but parenting a child of any age is difficult! To bring greater awareness to the problems that parents of children of other ages face, I bring forward the following suggestions that reflect age related difficulties: The horrible threes The fucked up fours The why me fivesContinue reading “The Terrible Twos Continued”

Most people are familiar with the Lazy Susan, that little turntable for spinning food and household goods around. Upon its introduction, there were plenty of companies that tried to ride the wave of success of home goods named after people and their traits. While none were as successful as the Lazy Susan, here were someContinue reading “Lazy Susan Spinoffs”

10- Uneaten food that expired 9- All My Children, on DVD 8- Lazertag 7- Airplane tickets to commute to “work” as a capital rioter 6- “Fuck The IRS” novelty t-shirts 5- All receipts that end in lucky #7 4- Any technology that has already become outdated 3- Novelty underwear with “Stimulus Package” written across theContinue reading “Top 10 Rejected Tax Writeoffs”

10- Virgo: Please send help! They’ve imprisoned me and are making me write horoscopes! 9- Leo: The unabridged text of Moby Dick, with the whale replaced by a mime 8- Aries: That thing on your back is just a boil 7- Pisces: A hand drawn sketch of a monkey smoking a joint 6- Gemini: TheContinue reading “Top 10 World’s Worst Horoscopes”

10- Wonder Meal 9- Medium Mac 8- McCrapwich 7- The 10 Minute Miracle Beef Cleanse 6- Saturated Yum 5- Happy for a little then sad for a while meal 4- Cram-it 3- The Widowmaker 2- McGodsend 1- Fillet o’ Cow

10- How the Grinch Stole the Election Despite There Being No Evidence   9- The Nightmare Before Christmas, on Christmas and After Christmas, Until God Knows When 8- Home Alone For 9 Months 7- The Quarantine-induced Bipolar Express 6- Love Actually Died of Covid this Year 5- While You Were Sleeping Australia Burned to the GroundContinue reading “Top 10 Holiday Movies Remade for 2020”

I know I’m not alone in saying that things are changing way too fast, and always for the worse. When I was a kid, they told me that if you went to college and got any old degree, you’d have a leg up on everyone. By the time I made it out, they were sayingContinue reading ““Not Quarantine is the New Quarantine”, and Other Catchy Suggestions for 2021″