Top 10 Worst Accidents in Baseball History

10- Tony Gwynn pulls every muscle in his body trying to get a Cheeto from under his couch

9- The Philly Phanatic has sex with the devil, giving birth to Flyers mascot Gritty

8- First baseman Larry Met gets hit in the head with line drive, nuclear radiation, simultaneously

7- In a case of mistaken identity, the Oakland Athletics sign a trout named Mike to a $400M contract. He dies shortly thereafter because he’s a fish

6- Nolan Ryan accidentally throws seven no hitters all while trying to figure out how to program microwave

5- Mass casualties ensue after a Prince Fielder doesn’t understand the costume aspect of the Milwaukee Brewers sausage race

4- Nationals third base coach accidentally flashes sign for “throw every game” instead of “bunt”

3- “Ed” the movie

2- Condom breaks, John Rocker is conceived

1- Wade Boggs passes out shitfaced drunk on a cross-country flight and wakes up convinced he is a Hall of Fame third baseman

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