Category Archives: Lists

10- Change name to TERRORcanes 9- Fling frogs at people. Frogs are scary, right? Or is that just to me? 8- Instead of regular hurricane noises, they start asking you who you voted for in the last presidential election in that way that you know it’s going to be followed by a political rant 7-Continue reading “Top 10 Ways For Hurricanes To Become Even Scarier”

10- Monathlon 9- Height contest 8- Not getting Covid at the Olympics 7- Synchronized screaming 6- BasketBRAWL 5- Twilight Zone Marathon 4- Who can run up the down escalator the fastest 3- Freestyle muttering 2- Socially distant Greco-Roman wrestling 1- Pummel horse

10- The Cycle: Steal a stapler, a blank CD, a ream of paper and a coworker’s lunch 9- The Threepeat: Work in an office with three guys named Pete; congrats, you did it! 8- The Perfect Shirk: Go an entire week without doing anything or being fired 7- The Alley-oop: Pass out in an alley insteadContinue reading “Top 10 Office Accomplishments”

10- Invented the resume 9- References are all unavailable because they were all on that one big boat that sank and they made a movie about 8- Already have the position that you are applying for 7- Was given the key to McDonaldland for finally catching the Hamburglar 6- Can write SQL code 5- Have aContinue reading “Top 10 Lies to Put on Your Resume”

10- Only willing to walk downhill 9- You have crippling student loan debt, because you are a kindergarten teacher who took out loans from your students 8- Refuse to use words over 2 syllables 7- Only pet is a pet pillow 6- Dream job is also pillow 5- Had to stop to catch breath whileContinue reading “Top 10 Signs You Are a Deadbeat”

10- A little extra ham on that sandwich 9- Some god damn peace and quiet and money 8- World peace or, barring that, pie piece 7- Godzilla vs. Kong vs. Tyson 6- A little recognition is all 5- A magic beer where you can drink the whole beer and it fills up with more beerContinue reading “Top 10 Things People Are Asking For”

10- Hot dog eating contest followed by heart attack having contest 9- Reenacting the Boston Tea Party by writing tea on a bottle of whiskey, Boston Harbor on face 8- Movie marathon consisting of 1776, Stars and Stripes Forever, and 8 hours of porn 7- Badmouthing the Queen (that bitch…) 6- Dropping enough acid toContinue reading “Top 10 July 4th Traditions”

10- The Grub-Sphere 9- The Taco Salad 8- The Pretzel Vortex 7- The Pill Cocktail 6- The Cash Cow 5- The Blended Scotch 4- The Trail Mix 3- The Hamburger Helper 2- The Nutrition Rorschach 1- The All You Can Eat Buffet

10- Knows what the actual weather is going to be every single day, but refuses to tell the viewers 9- Has the ability to spray foul odors, not unlike a skunk 8- Won his job after selling his soul to the devil to win a pie eating contest against Al Roker (pre-gastric bypass) 7- CoveredContinue reading “Top 10 Alarming Facts About Channel 4 Weatherman Matt Brickman”

10- Puppy generation gap 9- Old dog unions have strong trick labor agreements 8- Puppy schools evaluated on standardized test scores, not new tricks 7- Most new tricks involve computers, which old dogs can’t learn to use, not because they are too old but because they are dogs 6- The “Lassie Effect” 5- Tricks?! We’reContinue reading “Top 10 Reasons You Can’t Teach an Old Dog New Tricks”