Category Archives: Short Pieces

Every year, our panel of experts at Merriam-Webster discuss candidates for word of the year and choose a winner that is judged to reflect the ethos, mood, or preoccupations of that particular year and to have lasting potential as a word of cultural significance. This word should be common and well known, a term thatContinue reading “The Merriam-Webster Word of the Year for 2021 is a Defeated Sigh”

Gregor Samsa wakes up one morning to find himself transformed into an insect. This is surprising at first, but then again Donald Trump did become president, so anything seems possible. Like a responsible citizen, Gregor checks if insect transformation is a symptom of Covid. Seeing that it is not, Gregor is immediately relieved. Stuck onContinue reading “Modern Metamorphosis”

My name is Terry Stapleton, and I am the world’s greatest birder. Ever since I was a little boy and I saw Big Bird on TV, I knew I wanted to be out there in the woods, binocular on my eyes and love in my heart. Love for birds. Platonic love, not sexual. Some birdersContinue reading “The World’s Greatest Birder”

Hey guys, I’m a big fan of this show and can’t believe I’m actually on it! I’m not an inventor or an entrepreneur, just your everyday guy who came up with a life changing idea. So, you all know the movie Jurassic Park, right? The one where scientists recreate dinosaurs from preserved dino blood andContinue reading “My Shark Tank Pitch: Jurassic Park, but with Animals”

Hello, my name is “Peanut Butter”, at least that’s what the god damn President of the USA told everyone. Turkeys don’t have names. You’d think the leader of the free world would know that. Anyway, if you watch the news, you probably saw last week that he pardoned me and my buddy “Jelly”. Well, asContinue reading “I’m a Turkey Pardoned by Joe Biden and I Wish He Would Have Killed and Eaten Me”

Hello and welcome to Ethics 101. I’m your professor, Mr. Jarvis. My goal in this class is to have each of you see how ethics are behind so much of what we do, and to look at these ethics with a critical lens. Let me start with an easy example, or is it? Let’s find out.Continue reading “Ethics 101”

It may sound extreme to some, but the excessive, brutal and militarized police have lost sight of their mission. The police should be here to help our communities thrive and should be deescalating issues, however countless high profile incidents have shown us that the opposite is happening. Things are getting worse every day, and theContinue reading “Defund Sting and The Police”

I am here to address the recent reports that upwards of 50 million doses of the Johnson & Johnson Covid-19 vaccine sit unused. I’ve heard that this is due to negative views of our vaccine, caused by a minor issue where we had to throw away 60 million doses of our vaccine that were possiblyContinue reading “Ok, Our Vaccines May Not Be the Safest, but You Can Still Trust Our Baby Shampoo”

The following is an excerpt of a recently discovered first draft of Spiderman. Dating back to the early 40s, this draft shows a drastically different initial vision of the character. While lacking the polish of the finished product, this draft shows a critical step in the creative process and development of Spiderman. It was likeContinue reading “A Recently Discovered Early Draft of Spiderman”

September 3rd Today Jenny struck Eleanor in the head with a book. I am fairly certain that this is rooted in the fact that Eleanor gets an equal share of the family economic output despite producing less labor. I explained to Jenny that the source of her frustration is actually her own economic oppression, atContinue reading “Selected Excerpts from Karl Marx’s Notes on Homeschooling His Children”