My Shark Tank Pitch: Jurassic Park, but with Animals

Hey guys, I’m a big fan of this show and can’t believe I’m actually on it! I’m not an inventor or an entrepreneur, just your everyday guy who came up with a life changing idea. So, you all know the movie Jurassic Park, right? The one where scientists recreate dinosaurs from preserved dino blood and try to make it into an amusement park, but the dinosaurs all escape and cause a whole mess of trouble. Then they do it again a bunch of times. Well, that’s not my idea. First off, it was someone else’s idea already. It also clearly didn’t end well, even if the kids and Jeff Goldblum got out ok. I’m not sure if there was real science behind it, which could be a deal breaker. I have an idea that gets around all of these problems, though, and I think you’re going to like it: Jurassic Park, but with animals instead of dinosaurs! I call it “Animal Park”.

I’ve got some other improvements planned, too. One big one is that we won’t be hiring Newman from Seinfeld. I feel like that should’ve been obvious to them, but he was the antagonist on the show, of course he’s gonna try some sneaky stuff. Instead, I’m thinking it would be smarter to hire one of the good guys from the gang. Maybe George? Lots of laughs and he won’t cut the power to steal trade secrets. Another idea is to sell Dippin’ Dots. People love those things! Especially kids, who will be a big market for Animal Park. Another thing I thought of is that we’d have a part where kids can touch the more tame animals and feed them. That section is called “Petting Park”. Pretty catchy, eh?

And how about this idea I just came up with? You guys have a great idea for a this show here, Shark Tank. I mean, I get it, you guys are like a tank of sharks feeding on the chum that is the contestants. What if Animal Park had a Shark Tank? Like an actual tank of sharks? Wouldn’t that be wild? I mean, it has all of the danger of Jurassic Park, but no risk of the sharks breaking out of the tank.

So, that’s my million dollar idea. That’s why I’ve come to ask you for five million dollars to purchase a van, a net, one hundred eighty five pounds of top round, and to hire one very brave man and Jason Alexander to work at Animal Park. What do you think? Why don’t you think it over and get back to me. Thanks for your consideration.

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