I Was Just Unfrozen From My 50 Year Cryogenic Sleep and I Am Extremely Disappointed

My name is Michael Ellis. You may not have heard of me, but I was cryogenically frozen in the year 1971. I worked for CryoCorp back then, and I volunteered to be a participant in their cryogenic test program. I was thrilled at the idea of helping advance a technology that could preserve human life. I enteredContinue reading “I Was Just Unfrozen From My 50 Year Cryogenic Sleep and I Am Extremely Disappointed”

I Understand Why You Are So Upset, but the Real Victim of These Anti-Racism Protests Is Me, Zomgor: the Eater of Souls

I fully understand the history of slavery and black people in the United States. I can see the blight of police brutality and racial oppression that goes on to this day in America. I have no doubt that your current justice system is just a continuation of slavery, under the guise of law and order.Continue reading “I Understand Why You Are So Upset, but the Real Victim of These Anti-Racism Protests Is Me, Zomgor: the Eater of Souls”

Dr. Anthony Fauci SUPER STUMPERS Part 3

So what’s up with Covid? First it’s not a big deal, then it’s really big deal, and now it’s pretty much gone? Or is it?! Nobody knows! Well, we found someone who does know. Supposedly. That’s right, we’re back with a third installment of Super Stumpers, with the person who, depending on who you votedContinue reading “Dr. Anthony Fauci SUPER STUMPERS Part 3”

“A Total Veggiehead Reacts to Skirt Steak: First Bite” and other reaction videos from my new YouTube channel

So, I’ve been light on work since the pandemic started and am looking for new revenue streams. I’ve heard all about these people who are blowing up on YouTube over their music reaction videos, where they tape themselves listening to a song for the first time. These people are getting hundreds of thousands of hitsContinue reading ““A Total Veggiehead Reacts to Skirt Steak: First Bite” and other reaction videos from my new YouTube channel”

CDC Guidance for Returning to the Office

As you may know, we at the CDC recently issued new guidelines that vaccinated individuals can resume normal activities. This has guidance has led to a lot of businesses, including offices, resuming normal in-person operations. Many Americans have not been to an office in over a year, and this can be a major adjustment. TheContinue reading “CDC Guidance for Returning to the Office”

Dr. Anthony Fauci SUPER STUMPERS Part 2

The day has changed and so have the rules. The wildly successful Dr. Anthony Fauci Super Stumpers is back to provide new guidance on your toughest Covid related questions. Dr. Fauci is here now to field your stumpiest stumpers! Q: I’ve been hearing all about blood clods caused by the Johnson & Johnson vaccine. IsContinue reading “Dr. Anthony Fauci SUPER STUMPERS Part 2”