Top 10 Lies to Put on Your Resume

10- Invented the resume

9- References are all unavailable because they were all on that one big boat that sank and they made a movie about

8- Already have the position that you are applying for

7- Was given the key to McDonaldland for finally catching the Hamburglar

6- Can write SQL code

5- Have a high school equivalency, so long as that high school has an AP Shirking class

4- Can replace all functions formerly served by photocopier, accounting department, telephones and escalator

3- Do not meet the minimum job requirements due to a time travel paradox which is too complicated to explain here in the past

2- Will steal virtually nothing from your company

1- Won the 2015 AKC National Dog show, and not as an owner

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