10- Hot dog eating contest followed by heart attack having contest
9- Reenacting the Boston Tea Party by writing tea on a bottle of whiskey, Boston Harbor on face
8- Movie marathon consisting of 1776, Stars and Stripes Forever, and 8 hours of porn
7- Badmouthing the Queen (that bitch…)
6- Dropping enough acid to see George Washington
5- Doing the most American thing possible: buying a bunch of shit your don’t need from China
4- Putting on a “fireworks” show for your neighborhood, consisting of you revealing everyone’s closest kept secrets and then watching the ensuing fireworks
3- Punching a Redcoat
2- Blowing off one of remaining appendages
1- Declaring your independence by seceding from family
A Man Eating Chicken 