10- How the Grinch Stole the Election Despite There Being No Evidence 9- The Nightmare Before Christmas, on Christmas and After Christmas, Until God Knows When 8- Home Alone For 9 Months 7- The Quarantine-induced Bipolar Express 6- Love Actually Died of Covid this Year 5- While You Were Sleeping Australia Burned to the GroundContinue reading “Top 10 Holiday Movies Remade for 2020”
Author Archives: Eric Sporer
“Not Quarantine is the New Quarantine”, and Other Catchy Suggestions for 2021
I know I’m not alone in saying that things are changing way too fast, and always for the worse. When I was a kid, they told me that if you went to college and got any old degree, you’d have a leg up on everyone. By the time I made it out, they were sayingContinue reading ““Not Quarantine is the New Quarantine”, and Other Catchy Suggestions for 2021″
It’s Been 12 Months, Can We Please Go Back to Not Wearing Masks and Only Pretending to Wash Our Hands in the Bathroom?
The COVID-19 pandemic has been unlike anything that any of us have seen in our lives. There’s the obvious things: the deaths, the long-haulers who have been sick for months, those who have lost their jobs and businesses in the name of public safety, and the countless others who have had their lives ruined byContinue reading “It’s Been 12 Months, Can We Please Go Back to Not Wearing Masks and Only Pretending to Wash Our Hands in the Bathroom?”
Top 10 Secrets in the Secret Sauce
10- Three types of mayo 9- The meaning of life, or paprika, depending on availability 8- Location of Jimmy Hoffa’s body 7- I dunno, it depends on which underpaid factory kitchen worker is working that day 6- Honestly, it’s just A1 5- Worchesterthschiere or however the fuck you spell it 4- Shhhhhhhhark fin 3- THEContinue reading “Top 10 Secrets in the Secret Sauce”
Food Envy
Top 10 NY Super Subs Menu Items
10- Meat Lover’s Disappointment: Do you like ham? Do you like pastrami? Do you like turkey? Sorry, this sandwich has none of these. 9- The Flavinator: This sandwich was designed in a lab for maximum flavor. Comes with a lead vest to prevent flavor radiation absorption. 8- Sandwich of Relativity: So much flavor that itContinue reading “Top 10 NY Super Subs Menu Items”
I, a Senile Old Man, Yearn for the Simpler Times of My Horrible and Confusing Childhood
It’s hard to know what you can trust anymore. There’s the news, but now there’s also the fake news. The same thing can happen and, depending on which TV channel or homeless person you get your news from, you’ll get a different version. When I was a boy, there was only one channel; its nameContinue reading “I, a Senile Old Man, Yearn for the Simpler Times of My Horrible and Confusing Childhood”
Living the Dream (1990)
“Wake up son, it’s time for space camp,” says your dad. “Are we rich now?” you ask. “No,” he says, “we’ve always been rich, we are old money. We’ve just kept it a secret until now. Now come downstairs and eat your pizza rolls.” You have so many questions. Is space camp going to beContinue reading “Living the Dream (1990)”
Top 10 Reasons That We Should Be Sad When Macauly Culkin Dies at the End of My Girl Even Though He Provoked the Bees
10- Because they left him home alone 9- Because the movie was written by humans and not bees 8- Just beecause 7- Because emotional humans think with their hearts and not their stingers 6- Because it’s relatable since we’ve all attacked our fair share of beehives 5- Because it’s normal for kids to misbehive 4-Continue reading “Top 10 Reasons That We Should Be Sad When Macauly Culkin Dies at the End of My Girl Even Though He Provoked the Bees”
A Man Eating Chicken 