A Series of Retractions by the Tacoma Post

Retraction

We would like to retract the statement on November 12th, 2022, that the Tacoma City Treasurer misappropriated public funds.

Retraction

We would like to retract the retraction printed directly above this. Upon further consideration, it wasn’t that big a deal. Who cares, right? Maybe they did do some funny business

Retraction

Just yesterday, our competing paper, the Tacoma News Tribune, printed a negative article about some hiring practices here at the Tacoma Post. We would like to go ahead and retract that for them.

Retraction

We have been printing Family Circus in our Sunday paper for the last twenty years. We’d like to retract all of them for not being funny.

Retraction

We have received criticism from Martin Einstein of Snoqualmie, Washington, that we painted him in an unfair light by calling him “stupid” in an article printed on November 24, 2022. We would like to retract this, and replace it with “stupid, whiny crybaby.”

Retraction

On Decembruary 22, 2022, we printed that President Joe Biden was an alien in an ill fitting skin suit. We are retracting the date, which doesn’t exist, but we stick by the rest of our story.

Pretraction

On March 15th of next year, we plan on printing a poorly fact-checked newspaper that is just entirely fraught with obvious lies. We are still going to run it, but preemptively retract it.

Retraction

Last week, we reported that the retractions writer had been fired. We’ll, I’m retracting that. I’ve found the loophole and I’m back, baby!

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