Top 10 Alarming Facts About the Phoenix Suns Gorilla

10- Was acquired from the San Diego Zoo in a trade for Dan Majerle

9- Once dunked a ball so hard that it created a tear in the space-time continuum, sending him from his Ape Planet to Earth

8- Was once suspended for monkey business; his business was selling weed to kids

7- Is a King Kong truther

6- Replaced the much less beloved Phoenix Suns Guerilla

5- Doesn’t understand the ending of Planet of the Apes, but likes the movie for its ape representation

4- Was part of a love triangle with Bobby the Dole Banana and Gus the Pittsburgh State Gorilla

3- In a confusing twist, there is a gorilla inside the gorilla costume

2- His dream job wasn’t to dive through flaming hoops to dunk basketballs but to write the next great American novel while diving through flaming hoops

1- Ironically missed the 1994-95 season after slipping on a banana peel and tearing his ACL

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