Top 10 Alarming Facts about Mr. Met

10- Is able to speak, but is in the middle of a longstanding monastic vow of silence

9- Has permanent debilitating neck pain due to his giant baseball head

8- Only maintains his relationship with Mrs. Met for the sake of their three baseball-headed children

7- Contains the soul of another man deep within

6- Is constantly horrified as he watches the Mets hit tiny effigies of his head every home game

5- Mother was a human, father was a baseball, conception was awkward

4- Does not have a giant head, but comes from a long line of giants with proportional baseball heads and has a genetic deformity that gave him a relatively tiny body

3- Citi Field was built around him because they can’t fit his head through the gates

2- Is a member of the Flushing Crips

1- Was introduced in 1963 to make former Met Gil Hodges feel better about his big head, but backfired when Hodges took it as an insult and immediately retired

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