10- The Cycle: Steal a stapler, a blank CD, a ream of paper and a coworker’s lunch
9- The Threepeat: Work in an office with three guys named Pete; congrats, you did it!
8- The Perfect Shirk: Go an entire week without doing anything or being fired
7- The Alley-oop: Pass out in an alley instead of going to work, oops!
6- The Double-Double: Call in sick 10 times and grab 10 rebounds in the same year
5- The Triple Crown: Badmouth the queen three times in a single day
4- The Meta: Spend a whole day only writing top ten lists
3- The Gordie Howe Hat Trick: Write a report, make a sale and fight a coworker in a single day
2- The Undefeated Season: Be bitter your whole career but never let them know
1- The No Hitter: Work a whole year without having to break up any fistfights in the office
A Man Eating Chicken 