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A Man Eating Chicken

Hi Mom! Or whoever else I actually convinced to look at this website. I was writing these things that I thought were funny. I’d show them to my wife, who would agree, and submit them to various writing outlets, who would instantly reject all of them. Now I can appeal to you, the court of public opinion, who would never, ever, ever judge me unfairly. Enjoy!(?)

Here are the things you can read

Top 10 Alternative Names for the Scientifically Resurrected Dire Wolf Twins

10- Wolfie and Knick-knack 9-Stinky and Abomination 8- Test Tube Jr. and Armando 7- Romulus and I’m With Romulus 6- Thelma and Louise 5- The Barky Boyz 4- Good Boy and The Sneak 3- CUG AAG GGG and CUG AAG GGG 2- Bitey and Also Bitey 1- Cardinal Richelieu and his right hand man François Leclerc…

Workshopping “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush”

Help! Bird ambush! Four birds are worth an ungodly sum of money The early bird gets the bush (not sexual) Birds should be left in the bushes where they belong  A bird in the hand tickles the palm George Bush doesn’t care about blackbirds The early bird gets the bush (sexual) How many birds do…

Top 10 Scary Adult Halloween Costumes

10- Political conversation seeker 9- Thing you forgot that might be important 8- Your own children 7- Slimy salad greens 6- A bat with a gun 5- Hot dog made out of hamburger 4- The ghost of the former mayor of NYC: Rudolph Ghouliani 3- Gas price sign 2- Spooky pangolin 1- Unstoppable passage of…

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